Relient K - This Is The End (If You Want It)
i’ve been convincing myself
that i’m worthwhile
cos i’m worth what i’ll
convince myself to be
I wish I could’ve said something cool to make you listen,
But, the only thing that came to mind is how much I’d be missing you,
And missing this.
also, on a different note, I just got a quesarito from Chipotle, and I didn’t realize that it was that big of a problem. The girl asked me what I wanted, and I told her, and she kinda sighed and gave me a look, and then asked me if I knew that they charge me for both a burrito and a quesadilla, which was fine, but she seemed to be a little annoyed that I asked to have one.
being in a relationship has made some things come to light that I wasn’t completely sure about. I’ve realized that I am needy, and that I hate that I am needy. And that I really don’t like being alone, but I feel like I’m alone constantly. Even with friends and family who I know love me and care about me, I still have felt alone. I don’t know how to accept that someone can completely choose to care about/for me. I’ve felt alone for so long, that when someone who I love and care for tells me that I shouldn’t feel alone or that I’m not alone in the things that bother me, I don’t know how to let go of those things. I’m used to carrying other people’s weights around alongside my own. And I don’t let anyone “carry” mine cause I feel like they’re MY problems and I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to carry my shit. I feel like they’re things that are MY problem so I have to solve them. I also don’t ask for help cause I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. I feel like I’m an unwanted weight that I’d rather not bother people with. Sometimes cause I feel like my problems are ridiculous and that I should be able to solve them myself. Then through all of the wants and “needs”, I feel pathetic. I ask myself why would I get upset if I don’t get a thing that I want. OR the fact that I should even want it. I feel pathetic because I feel like her dog. I want to follow her everywhere and know where she’s at all the time and be with her as much as I can. Then when I’m not with her, I don’t like it. Not that I don’t know how to function or be a human being, but I just think about her constantly, and when she’s not around I feel distant. I feel like I’m in a different world than her.
I know these thoughts are scattered, but these are some of the things I was just talking to her about and they’re still fresh in my mind so I needed to let them out a bit more.
I can’t find the verse
I have to choose to get to you
Wasting precious words
To come to truth
And what it means, what it means
I’m here on the outside, waiting for your invite
hahaha, if it’s any consolation, I was 11 pounds 4 ounces when I was born, and my mother turned out fine
There are no words."
reasons black people just can’t get over it.
that feeling when you listen to a song with good heaphones for the first time and suddenly you notice 7 new instruments, a child singing harmonies in the background, and you’re just sitting there wide eyed and in love with the song all over again
ugh. I don’t know if anyone has read either of these articles, but my gf had posted the first one, and I agree with what the article is saying about how the nail polish isn’t a real solution. But some people just don’t get it…and I don’t know what to say to them
"Doubting Thomas" Nickel Creek cover
Living is dying
I can’t understand it
I’m down on my knees
Confessing my needs again
The Smiths - Asleep
”Sing me to sleep. I don’t want to wake up on my own anymore…”
I have only come here seeking knowledge,
Things they would not teach me of in college.
I can see the destiny you sold
turned into a shining band of gold.